Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered.
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you".
~ A.A.MILNE, WINNIE THE POOH
Over the past 50 years, mental health research has resoundingly and consistently found the greatest influencer over mental health, to be the quality of relationship an individual experienced with his/her caregivers.
Attachment theory is a psychological model that examines the bond and negotiation of closeness, safety and trust, between a child and their primary caregiver/s. Unspoken "rules" for feeling, relating and being known are all deeply absorbed at a subconscious level. This experience and emotional environment has the power to significantly influence all subsequent areas of development; social, emotional and cognitive.
These habits of relating learnt in our formative years, becomes a kind of blueprint we go on to play out in our relationship with the world and all others. The influence and power of our learnt attachment style varies proportionately to the influence of this "other" in our lives. We tend to see the greatest impact in the way we then relate with our partner, and later... with our own children.
We now know that a strong and healthy attachment with at least one caregiver throughout a child's upbringing, is the greatest influencer on an individual's probability having success and resilience in life. That is... to bounce back from disappointments and hardship, trust that most problems have solutions and good things will come their way, maintain long term healthy friendships and relationships, keep employment, know how to be kind to those around them.... the list goes on!
The good news is, it's never too late! Our long ago learnt attachment styles can be understood, and new habits learnt. Very often we see children communicate their protest and needs through challenging behaviours. As we heal and learn about our attachment, all our relationships are powerfully effected.
Children are highly responsive to adapting as parents shift their relating styles creating great relief for all. This is why I have focused much of my work around the wonderful Circle of Security parent program.
The Attachment Theory- How Your Childhood Affects Your Relationships
A more detail explanation on Attachment and why this is so important.
The Circle of Security program is designed to address and support shifting attachment to security, no matter what the current parent/child relationship patterns. It's never too late!
Circle of Security is an internationally renowned parenting program based on the leading attachment research. It is designed to support parents to see beyond behaviour to needs and the connection seeking strategies their child may use.
Parents gain greater understanding in:
The beauty of Circle of Security is it's foundation in evidence based attachment research. Parents leave this course with a deep understanding of their relational style that can have a powerful trickle down effects to all significant relationships.
This added awareness then affords greater choice and vastly improved relationships. Whilst relationships with children become much closer and easier to navigate, the possibilities are endless. Parenting is just the beginning!
A great summary can be viewed at the Circle of Security website.
This program is taught in both group and private settings dependent on what most suits each family's circumstance.
For more information or to find out the dates of our next group series contact Emily through the links below.
Here's a key to secure parenting and one of the core components we address in the Circle of Security program... in less than three minutes.
Meet Penny! Penny is a lovely mum who joined our August group in 2018. Here she shares the impact of her experience after attending the Circle of Security program with Heart Talk.
Wonderful mum Mel also attended our August, 2018 Circle of Security group. Mel shares her experience of participating in this program with Heart Talk.
"In the past I have felt too vulnerable to work with a therapist, yet Emily changed my view in her Circle of Security workshop. She was clear, easy to understand and radiated a deep passion for this work. Her careful checking in at different stages if the course to make sure I had an understanding, made the course actually quite enjoyable. I didn't feel judged or like I was being tested. Her delivery of this course has helped me so much in my parenting. I think about different aspects of what we learnt each time I'm with my child, it's really helped me to be the father I dreamt of being, but didn't know how to get there.
Thanks Em." James, Mullumbimby
"I did this course with Em Schulz last year and it was really powerful. She presented it well. The handouts were invaluable and it was such a clear paradigm. Integrating it into my parenting world will take lots of practice from my end and it's wonderful that Em does private sessions also. Her work has made such a difference to my family. If you are struggling at all with a wilful little one or challenging dynamic/ you and partner have different parenting styles or any other reason... Please consider attending. It's a great price and frankly it's priceless!!!" Mashenka, Gold Coast
"I would like to thank you for your support and kindness over the last 9 years. Our family is complex and difficult to say the least, yet always you bring a fresh perspective and positive energy when you work with us. My children respond well to your warmth and genuine care. The tools that you give us are "user friendly" and simple to apply. I am often surprised at how quickly you can make big changes that create harmony and fun in our lives - the way it should be. We appreciate you and you are an important member of the team that keeps our family thriving." Rachel, Gold Coast
"I see huge changes in my children's behaviour! It's what I visualised parenting would always look like. It's just fun and authentic and full of love. It was healing for me and gave me a lot of confidence.” Penny, 39, Gold Coast
Early Childhood Centres around the world are fast adopting Circle of Security as part of their core professional development for their educators.
Secure attachment relationships with caregivers is now commonly understood as vital to healthy brain development and an optimal learning environment. So it makes sense that having an advanced understanding of what detracts and contributes to this attainment is well grasped by staff. Yet more than simply understanding attachment is essential.
Very often, the children demonstrating the most difficult behaviour, who struggle the most to learn and follow instructions, are struggling with attachment with their care givers. Learning environments can then be another place where they feel unsafe and misunderstood, or a great refuge supporting their resilience.
The Circle of Security program will support educators to:
Circle of Security often has a significant impact on all relationships, allowing educators to then support parents in the way they understand their children's behaviour and needs. Such a resource then becomes an invaluable foundation that supports resilience in children, parents and staff and in turn the very culture of the centre.
More information can be found at Circle of Security website.
This program is delivered on site in Brisbane, the Gold Coast and Northern NSW.
Each group can accommodate up to 12 staff. For a quote or further information, please contact Emily by phone or via the link below.
The importance of awareness of children in school and child care settings with attachment problems.
Circle of Security supports educators to effectively work with and support these children; creating much needed safety and security.