what's all the fuss about attachment?
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you".
~ A.A.MILNE, WINNIE THE POOH
Over the past 50 years, mental health research has resoundingly and consistently found the greatest influencer over mental health, to be the quality of relationship an individual experienced with his/her caregivers.
Attachment theory is a psychological model that examines the bond and negotiation of closeness, safety and trust, between a child and their primary caregiver/s. Unspoken "rules" for feeling, relating and being known are all deeply absorbed at a subconscious level. This experience and emotional environment has the power to significantly influence all subsequent areas of development; social, emotional and cognitive.
These habits of relating learnt in our formative years, becomes a kind of blueprint we go on to play out in our relationship with the world and all others. The influence and power of our learnt attachment style varies proportionately to the influence of this "other" in our lives. We tend to see the greatest impact in the way we then relate with our partner, and later... with our own children.
We now know that a strong and healthy attachment with at least one caregiver throughout a child's upbringing, is the greatest influencer on an individual's probability having success and resilience in life. That is... to bounce back from disappointments and hardship, trust that most problems have solutions and good things will come their way, maintain long term healthy friendships and relationships, keep employment, know how to be kind to those around them.... the list goes on!
The good news is, it's never too late! Our long ago learnt attachment styles can be understood, and new habits learnt. Very often we see children communicate their protest and needs through challenging behaviours. As we heal and learn about our attachment, all our relationships are powerfully effected.
Children are highly responsive to adapting as parents shift their relating styles creating great relief for all. This is why I have focused much of my work around the wonderful Circle of Security parent program.
circle of security for parents
Circle of Security Program
Circle of Security is an internationally renowned parenting program based on the leading attachment research. It is designed to support parents to see beyond behaviour to needs and the connection seeking strategies their child may use.
Parents gain greater understanding in:
- Step-by-step approaches for promoting a securely attached relationship with their child/ren
- Gaining greater co-operation through the quality of their relationship with their child
- Discover effective ways to support children to learn vital skills of self regulation and resiliency
- Deepen understanding of your relational styles and ways to meet areas of challenge
The beauty of Circle of Security is it's foundation in evidence based attachment research. Parents leave this course with a deep understanding of their relational style that can have a powerful trickle down effects to all significant relationships.
This added awareness then affords greater choice and vastly improved relationships. Whilst relationships with children become much closer and easier to navigate, the possibilities are endless. Parenting is just the beginning!
A great summary can be viewed at the Circle of Security website.
Learn More
This program is taught in both group and private settings dependent on what most suits each family's circumstance.
For more information or to find out the dates of our next group series contact Emily through the links below.
circle of security for educators
Attachment plays a vital role in learning environments...
Early Childhood Centres around the world are fast adopting Circle of Security as part of their core professional development for their educators.
Secure attachment relationships with caregivers is now commonly understood as vital to healthy brain development and an optimal learning environment. So it makes sense that having an advanced understanding of what detracts and contributes to this attainment is well grasped by staff. Yet more than simply understanding attachment is essential.
Very often, the children demonstrating the most difficult behaviour, who struggle the most to learn and follow instructions, are struggling with attachment with their care givers. Learning environments can then be another place where they feel unsafe and misunderstood, or a great refuge supporting their resilience.
The Circle of Security program will support educators to:
- Shift focus from behaviour management to influence through the quality of the relationship
- Build vital skills of self-reflection to enhance responses and choices with challenging child behaviours
- Increase empathy and foster greater trust and safety - particularly with children with insecure attachments
- Assist managing own emotions and those of children in your care
- Get familiar with your own attachment blueprint to support greater self-care in the workplace
- Learn step-by-step approaches for promoting secure attachment in children
Circle of Security often has a significant impact on all relationships, allowing educators to then support parents in the way they understand their children's behaviour and needs. Such a resource then becomes an invaluable foundation that supports resilience in children, parents and staff and in turn the very culture of the centre.
More information can be found at Circle of Security website.
Learn More
This program is delivered on site in Brisbane, the Gold Coast and Northern NSW.
Each group can accommodate up to 12 staff. For a quote or further information, please contact Emily by phone or via the link below.